We often look at the past with fond eyes and a flexible memory. "Remember when… " Remember when children rode bikes without helmets? Remember when you didn't have to worry so much when your eight year old walked to the store alone?
In reality, there has never been and never will be a "safe" time for children to grow up. At all times children need aware, intentional parents, parents with a purpose.
One of the tricky aspects of parenting is that much of what we do does not have immediate effects. It's not so easy to see the connection between some of our parenting habits now and the young adult of the future. What do children need while they're growing up? What kind of experiences will shape them into the adults of good character we hope they will become?
I've been thinking about possible answers to those questions, and I've attempted a list. It is by no means complete, but here's my first draft:
- consistent, regular, age-appropriate instruction in Christian belief and practice, at home as well as at church
- consistent, regular opportunities to worship and pray and fellowship with others within the body of Christ
- living with "no" — and that doesn't mean, putting up with it. It means, living with it, graciously, respectfully. They need to learn this one now, because throughout all the years of their lives, it's going to come up again, and again, and …
- compassionate service
- wonder — the anti-cynicism drug
- being read to and reading to
- discussion and thinking about ideas bigger than what is familiar
- open-field play — free to run within safe boundaries
- putting off getting something they want — contentment comes from *not* getting everything they're wishing for
- postponing or setting aside their own wishes for the sake of another — it's not just about "paying it forward" and feeling good when we do something nice; sometimes another person takes higher priority over one's own concerns and needs
- perseverance — keeping going even when they don't feel like it
What would you add to my list? What would your list include?
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